Coming Through In Waves

We lay on the rug in the living room in a rectangle of light, warmed by the late afternoon sun. On our sides facing one another the windows are open and it is quiet in the house. Rare to have JQ, my sweet boy, quietly lying with me. He is holding his canteen in one hand(his comfort) and rubbing my elbow with the other (something he has done since he was a baby). Stella is napping down the hall and I close my eyes. He is as sensitive and emotional as he is stubborn these days. Balancing these two things has me scrambling for a new approach. A new Mom strategy I guess. I can't seem to get threw to him. Maybe in bits and waves and at moments but not the way I am so delicately trying to. In a steady, routine, affirming way. He regularly over reacts, cries easily and shouts in disapproval at me. I miss my playful, active boy. Did some of that get lost in the move? I set the thought aside and peak to see if his eyes are open, they are. He too is searching. Searching to understand the changes, the distance and why much of his family can only be seen and talked with on a screen. Searching to comprehend the meaning of new words and explanations given to him. He is growing and discovering. The beach, the park, the kids in the neighborhood. These thoughts and images fade in and out as I peek open an eye to find him looking back at me with his fathers gorgeous dark eyes. I could easily fall asleep here on the floor if only he would too. But we won't. We will lye in the quiet, peeking at each other now and then. He, still rubbing my elbow and occasionally giving it a pinch. I love this little guy with all my heart and then some.

Linking to the EO for Just Write

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5 comments:

  1. my little boy sounds JUST like him! What a beautiful picture you painted! Because when you are living it, it doesn't seem beautiful!

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  2. Moments of parenting peace..aaahhh...they don't come often!
    Michelle
    http://normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com/2012/07/moments.html

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  3. This is lovely. I can just see the two of you there. that's what Just Write is all about. Thank you for joining in.

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  4. What a precious moment you described laying on the floor with him. Nice to visit here with you through the EO.

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  5. oh it is such a whirlwind of emotion and adaptation and you think you know them and then they change on you. but one thing hopefully will never change, and that is the love you so beautifully capture here. so glad to have found you through just write. peace to you, e.

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Dime!

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